Ojousama, Most Important
by windowlight
Summary: About denial, hurt, acceptance, devotion, and being simple. Shoujo-ai. KONOSETSU.
1. Chapter 1: Night

**Ojou-sama, Most Important**

**--windowlight**

**Author's Notes:** I didn't want to use the "Flashback format" wherein the flashbacks are italicized, since it seems… very informal to me. Please note that sentences with verbs in the past perfect form (e.g. had, had been) are the flashbacks themselves and those with verbs in the simple past are the happenings in the current time frame of the story. Please bear with me .

Tons of thanks to Mizuhara Misao for beta-reading!!!

_Thoughts_

**Chapter 1—Night**

Sakurazaki Setsuna stared at the cold wooden floor beneath her knees. Her head hung low between her strained shoulders and her hands rested upon her lap clutching the dark blue fabric of her shinmeiryuu uniform. She was counting, actually, the number of hours that passed since she has last seen a certain girl of chocolate brown tresses and soft round eyes. Her gaze penetrated the immediate world around her as the memory slowly formed in her mind.

"—Me?" the sixteen-year-old princess had said quite inaudibly if it hadn't been for Setsuna's good pair of ears and the bitter silence the night had offered.

"Hai," she had replied firmly as if to confirm an order from some old man who held some kind of authority over the likes of her. But she had sensed—known—that her usually solid voice had revealed the dark, emptied chambers of her soul to her ojou-sama. Not that the girl hadn't known of it yet for the past few days.

"Still?" she had whispered with a groan, feeling the weight of guilt crushing her lungs, "Set-chan?"

The young samurai had not replied nor had she intended to. Why, of all the questions, why had she wanted to ask _that_? If only the woman had known how painful it had been to have been asked a question one has had an answer to since first gazing upon how the leaves danced in the wind or how the water shimmered under the sun. If only she had known what pain it had caused to have had to bury it under the cold dirt that coats one's frozen heart.

"Set-chan," she had called again only to encounter yet another agonizing moment of silence. She had looked down, letting the silken strands of her long hair cover her cheeks and the water residing in her eyes for quite a time slide down her pale face.

Setsuna had remained still and unmoving on her knees with her back to the person she had pledged her life to ever since the forged honor bestowed upon her had allowed her to. She had felt during the short span of minutes which had seemed like long tireless days that everything about the small traditional room had absolutely been nothing at all; like she had been floating in the widest of oceans without ever feeling the waves.

"Onegai…"

The desperation that lingered in such a beautiful voice had been plainly unacceptable to the loyal knight, who had flinched at the lamentable pain she had heard.

_Should I speak? Am I allowed to?_

After what had seemed like an eternity, the princess had stood ever so slowly, ever so elegantly. She had begun to walk towards her guardian, stopping as the distance had diminished to about a foot. She had paused, waiting for any sign of response, and, upon receiving none, had pulled down the many layers of her royal kimono until every fold and crease had lain scruffily on the ground and nothing had covered her porcelain skin.

It had glowed in the moonlight, her skin. Like she had been a goddess, Setsuna recalled.

"Onegai, Set-chan," the princess had uttered weakly as she knelt down and took her friend and protector into a desperate embrace.

"Answer me!!"

Setsuna felt the first wave of tears finally assault her cold eyes as she remembered very clearly the hurt that had undoubtedly resided in that voice. Hurt she knew she had caused. By then, she had realized how it felt to be stabbed with the bluntest blade. She clutched the white cloth to her chest until it felt like it wasn't there at all.

_I shouldn't cry._

"Ojou-sama…"

Konoe Konoka had loathed that label ever since it had first come out of her friend's lips. And the tone had also gained such deep hatred in an instant; the young woman had known for several years what it implied—apology.

_Always has been the passive one, Set-chan._

Konoka had lit up as Setsuna had begun moving, turning her body around and repositioning her legs to face her only beloved, but had later frowned again upon realizing that her friend had reached for her scattered clothes behind her without even sparing her—_offer_—a glance.

As Setsuna had tugged the kimono around her master's slender shoulders, she had not blushed nor twitched as she had always done so in the past upon seeing her ojou-sama's bare skin. Of course, she hadn't. It just hadn't been those blissful times, had it?

"Hai. Still."

Setsuna lifted her calloused fingers to her lips, almost touching them but never doing so. She remembered that moment after melting all her pride—_stubbornness_—and breaking one of the two most significant vows she had made, she had allowed them to touch the most flawless lips in the world.

_Like kissing heaven itself._

_But I was born never to have heaven. This should be my first and only taste of that place._

_Konoka-ojou-sama._

**Author's Notes**: First fic in quite along time. And it's Konosetsu!!! Yay!!!


	2. Chapter 2: Promise

**Author's Notes**: Tons of thanks to Mizuhara Misao for beta-reading!!!

**Chapter 2—Promise**

"—Training with Motoko-sensei."

Her brows lowered. She looked down, bit her lip, then smiled.

"Thanks," she said and left hurriedly, her long brown hair dancing over her back and her new kimono sliding across polished wood as she ran across the sunlit corridors of the Kansai temples. She made her way easily around the gargantuan edifice, remembering each turn, each path, each concealed corner she used to hide in every time she had played hide-and-seek with a certain fretful playmate a few years back.

She then quickened her pace even more as her eyes caught a glimpse of the Shinmeiryuu dojos.

"Set-chan?" she blurted out upon opening quite loudly the doors of the ancient structure.

"Konoka-ojou-sama?"

No. It wasn't her.

"She's out in the mountains. Training," Shinmeiryuu master Ayouma Motoko said casually, never looking up from her bow, "She'll be back in a week. Earlier if she gets it right."

"But it's in two days!" the Konoe heir cried as she tightened her right grip around the thick textile of her garments and her left around the rough surface of the wooden door's edge.

"Pardon?"

Konoka looked to her left, her long chocolate hair caressing the exposed skin on the base of her neck. She felt her eyes water—_again_—and remembered how burnt they felt that night when she had begun hating the beauty of moonlight.

_Set-chan, you liar._

The pieces of cleanly cut wood crackled under the small fire. A few moments more and they were joined by a similar material tossed by a blistered white hand. The brilliant orange glow brightened up the cold and eerie surroundings as they had before at times like this, the young samurai recollected.

Setsuna stared blankly at the awfully familiar sight of burning lumber. She sat motionless as she held her sword, Yuunagi to her right shoulder, hugging it like it was a pillow. The night seemed colder than ever, even with every muscle fiber of her body scorching from exhaustion.

"_It's a promise, okay?"_

A cold breeze went by, blowing dully the girl's black strands over her face. The glow faltered a bit, but Setsuna didn't mind; the flame can regain itself on its own. And maybe she should too, she thought. She lifted her palms to her mouth and began breathing air out to warm them a little. The flame continued to eat away the pieces of wood, but she still felt cold. And guilty.

A man, apparently about twenty years of age, sat on his knees, on a small velvet cushion within a rather large traditional Japanese tea room. He had his long jet-black hair tied with an unusual piece of white cloth as some shorter strands fell on either side of his diplomatic face. Contrasting with his fine-looking Asian features was his very western outfit consisting of a black suit, blue collars, and a white tie, which actually bothered a certain teenager who sat a few feet away.

"Akumatsu Ren," an old man of a long white beard and an abnormally-shaped head said quite proudly as he introduced yet another of his nominees to become his lovely—_annoyed_—granddaughter's husband.

"He's just twenty-one, Konoka-chan, and already a graduate from a foreign school in Europe and is currently a well-known doctor here in Japan. He says he'll be pursuing fine arts too. Such a talented young man for such a beautiful granddaughter, would you agree, Ren-san?"

"I wouldn't say that much, sir. I'm still a fresh graduate," Ren uttered as he lowered his head at the comment, seemingly humbled by such appraisal, "But I definitely would agree with what you said about Konoka-san."

"Ohoho! Warming up already, Ren-san?"

"Iie… It's just that it's true so…" the young man murmured as he smiled awkwardly at the girl in front of him. She was clad in evidently one of the finest kimonos graced with colorful, elegant designs. Her chocolate-brown hair was tied high up with golden accessories and artificial flowers. Her make-up wasn't actually noticeable afar, but the young woman surely was stunning even without it.

Konoka stared at nothing in particular, rather uninterested in the conversation she found too old for her ears. She sighed silently to herself, wishing for the long day ahead to end quickly before she decided to make a run for it like she had done so during the previous omiai she attended with her lifelong guardian. She remembered how she had asked Setsuna to take her on a date for the rest of the day and how her raven-haired friend had looked down at the cemented pathway, trying to hide the blush that had reached even her ears, and, in doing so, had not been able to see a lamppost she had then walked into.

"_Ah, It-te-te…"_

Ojou-sama had gone immediately to her Set-chan's side and had held the bridge of her nose, tilting her bleeding friend's head upwards.

"Set-chan no baka," Konoka now whispered sadly the words she had said happily then.

**Author's Notes**: It's a pointless chapter. I wanted to focus on the emotional/psychological side of their relationship for this story, so I _probably_ won't be writing much physical or romantic interaction between the two. But I guess you should expect tons of angst as in the first chapter.

About Motoko… Besides getting the idea from Houndemon's "Trial by Heart" (Arigatou!!!), I also noticed that in a flashback scene during Konoka and Setsuna's childhood where they first met each other, a (blurry) figure of an older Shinmeiryuu girl, whom Setsuna was hiding behind of, looked like Motoko herself. Well, just the hair, I guess.


	3. Chapter 3: Return

**Author's Notes**: Tons of thanks to Mizuhara Misao for beta-reading!!!

**Chapter 3—Return**

"As expected, Setsuna-kun," a tall, fit woman of long black hair stood towering over her bent over student, "You're dismissed then. Take your rest for the day."

"Hai. Arigatou, Motoko-sensei," a younger girl announced in reply as she straightened her body and prepared to head towards the exit.

"Wait. One more thing."

"Hai, sensei."

"Ojou-sama," Motoko said as she began to stride away to the opposite direction, "She's been looking for you."

"Hai."

Motoko stopped her pace, stunned by the plainness of the reply. Was she really talking to Sakurazaki? For a very long time the master swordsman had taken note about the relationship between her apprentice and the princess. That one would deduce that they were twins of odd dissimilarity. Or perhaps, lovers at times. You couldn't separate the two even it meant a choice of death.

Sakurazaki Setsuna, as she had known ever since the child became her student, held the eyes of someone who would offer every drop of her blood for a cause she had put in place of everything she possessed. The cause obviously the well-being of Konoe Konoka. It was actually a major reason why she had chosen her to become her apprentice. Such eyes revealed sheer determination that would gain utter power in battle even if strength itself went against her.

"You don't seem to care much of Konoka-ojou-sama's feelings, Setsuna-kun. I presume you didn't tell her of your leave?"

Setsuna looked away and made no effort to answer. 'Don't seem to care much'. She swallowed. That had dealt a pretty serious blow. She, of course, was ashamed of putting Konoka in such a state. But would she really dare to strive for a bond much more intimate than what she has now with ojou-sama? That night, she recalled, was one of her lowest downfalls. To even utter a word about her feelings for the princess was a violation to her second vow.

"_I, Sakurazaki Setsuna, will protect Konoka-ojou-sama with my life. Even in great pain, danger or even in death."_

"_I, Sakurazaki Setsuna, will protect Konoka-ojou-sama… from my feelings that bear danger to her status and future. I shall never develop or speak of anything about loving ojou-sama. For it is best for ojou-sama."_

"Motoko-sensei," Setsuna voiced helplessly, "If I were to break my vows… for someone who wants me to. Even though it is clear it would do her harm to do so… should I?"

Motoko turned casually to her side to glance at her apprentice. She paused. The child was confused? Until now, she had thought of her as straight-forward and simple-minded in a way, never questioning her purposes and goals. She made much thought for a while and then smiled, finally knowing fully what was transpiring.

"It depends. What if it was more harm to her to keep your vow rather than to break it?"

Setsuna looked up from the polished wooden planks of the dojo floor she had found interesting a while ago. She stared, a bit densely, at her master. It was then that she felt the wind again and realized that spring was on its way.

**Author's Notes: **Another pointless (and short) chapter. Bite me.

Thank you for the reviews!!! I understand that my story is_ very_ confusing and I deeply apologize for I am a _very_ frustrated expressionist; I focus on thoughts, surreal interaction and inner emotions rather than the plot itself, really. I will try to revise parts which you might think very puzzling if I find time.

**For NSKruger**: Thanks for pointing that out. But I'm really sticking with "Set-chan"--"Se-chan" would also be fine--because Asians (that includes the Japanese) _never _use"cc" in spellings. I'm absolutely sure of that, considering I am Asian. I wouldn't want to offend people, especially kind reviewers like you, but "Secchan" is actually read "Sehk-chahn" here in the east.

Anyway, again, I am grateful for the reviews. 'Til next chapter!


	4. Chapter 4: Spring and Epilogue

**Author's notes:** Back after—what, four? Five years..? I completely stopped visiting since the last time I ever posted or read anything here. Decided to look back tonight and here I am writing a sequel to a fanfic I almost forgot about.

I've no more beta-reader. I apologize if there are errors in structure and spelling.

~windowlight

**Chapter 4—Spring**

Konoe Konoka is simple. She thinks and does. She feels and expresses. She loves. She is simple and she thought perhaps being a princess, with everything laid out for her, made her so.

Or perhaps, she never thought, being happy made her so. Everything becomes simpler when you're happy. But she was not happy recently. She thinks and thinks of one thing but never does it. She feels so much but holds it back. And she loves but hurts.

So things weren't simple. And all she ever wanted was to get one person to just _simply_...

**—**

Konoe Konoka was glaring. In any case, that was never good. "Lair," she mumbled. Sakurazaki Setsuna stood across the wooden hall, receiving the full force of that glare. The feeling was one of the worst she's had.

"Oujo-sama," Setsuna called out before finding herself alone in the corridor.

—

"Sensei, you said that there is a possibility that keeping my vows could lead to more harm."

"Yes, there is."

"Then there should be a possibility that I get to keep my vows but also keep whatever harm it may cause away from her."

"Yes, there may be."

"Then… I guess I should go with that."

Motoko stood up from her meditation and prompted her anxious student to rise. She tapped Setsuna's training sword with hers and they went to begin their daily match. Then nothing but clashing wood, squeaking bare feet, and tired heavy breathing resounded in the dojo.

Setsuna fell to her back defeated and Motoko walked to her.

"Stop assuming that you can actually do everything. Even if it _is_ for the princess."

—

A deep orange covered the trees and the temples. The thin doors did little to keep the colors of the sunset from gracing the rooms and corridors of the Kansai shrine and dojo.

A girl sat in the middle of her room, her eyes never leaving the checkered light passing through the door to the pond garden. She thought back to a few nights ago. She had removed her garments here in this room in front the person she loves. She had wanted to be touched and told words she painfully longed.

_ "Do you still love me?"_

_ "Still."_

She hadn't been given any more than that word. And she received it with a back turned to her.

—

"Konoka-chan, you seem weary these days. I'm sorry, is it because of the omiai? You must understand that it is only so that we won't seem rude to the other clans." Konoemon said as he sat beside the princess.

"Ojiichan, I'm fine. It's just… I can't figure out some things…" Konoka sighed. She was dressed in another top quality kimono again today. Ever since she finished school and has been staying at her grandfather's, a over-detailed garments are almost always what she's provided with to wear.

"Things like?"

Konoka fell silent.

"A hurdle regarding your friends? …Or romance, perhaps?"

"Jiichan…" she said and looked to her grandfather, "Set-chan is the only person I will ever want."

Konoemon looked at his heir. _So beautiful_._ With eyes that look straight on, never showing fear in the future, revealing her single-minded aspirations._

"And I would never think twice about it."

—

Spring brought with it a nice breeze and a clear sky. Setsuna was walking at the garden, deeply preoccupied.

_ "Even if it _is_ for the princess."_

She closed her eyes and felt a light stream of wind. She inhaled the cool air, and the smell reminded her of days spent with Konoka playing in this garden. Back then, she remembered protecting her princess from a stray dog.

Even though they both knew such a thing happens and, somewhere in their hearts, they were afraid it could happen again …

They never stopped playing outside. And Setsuna was happy.

_ I _can_ do everything. For her._

It's been so long since Setsuna felt like this.

—

Konoka sat on the wooden porch in the pond garden just outside her room. She held a cup of tea while another stood steaming beside her.

She heard slow and light footsteps from the far side of the garden. And she knew who it was.

"I love you, Kono-chan."

And Konoka was happy.

FIN.

**Author's Notes: **Final chapter. There's an epilogue though. Ah, I feel a tad bit younger again. Hope you enjoyed even though it's been sooo long since the last update. I probably won't write anymore about these two. I do hope to write about many other pairings when I find the right time.

**—Epilogue**

"Set-chan?"

"Hai?"

"You still owe me. Leaving for training when you promised to take me to the festival."

"O-oh, I'm so sorry, oujo-sama… What would you have me do to make up for it…?"

Konoka pondered and smiled.

"Undress me and don't turn your back this time."

Setsuna needed blood transfusion by the end of the day.


End file.
